Searching frantically on your table,
Smelling your scent in your cupboard,
Feeling the fissures your body has made everywhere,
I see you here, I see you there but you still get out of my grasp.
Shared memories float above, trying to envelop me in their cloud of joy
But I am lost in the alleys of grief, in the maze of hurt.
As I let go off the final remains of your earthly body,
The holy river promising me peace, takes you away, far away from me.
One moment I was touching you,
Proud for having a son others rarely had.
The next moment I was holding your ashes
That reminded me of the illusion called life.
Tears swell within me,
Bubbles of sadness burst into hot lava
Burning my soul as my heart remembers you.
Why me? Why you? Why death at all?
I search for answers to questions that lie buried deep
In the debris of my bruised spirit.
My pack of cards has come crumbling down
Even as He deals a new pack elsewhere!
Why this discrimination? I ask of Him.
He had to go my child, He says.
He came to give you joy!
Happiness comes and goes, He says.
Memories will last forever of your boy!
